27 Sep The 8 Biggest Mistakes Women Make During Divorce
We see women going through divorce everyday and have identitied the traps that they fall into just for you so that you can avoid them. Here they are:-
1. Jumping into a settlement to get out!
Soo many women that we see say “I just want to take this deal to get out”… “I want it over with now”. Don’t do it! You will regret it. Take some time to process that your relationship has just ended. Get some support and this may mean counselling or therapy (not just your bestie and a bottle of wine) Then get some advice about your rights and entitlements and think about it, then think about it some more. You only get one shot so if you change your mind there is no turning back.
2. Don’t just go with the numbers that your ex gives you. Do your own research.
He has just cheated on you but you still trust that his version of the assets and liabilities that you have are correct…Do your own research its not difficult. Call the bank get the most current bank statements so that you actually know what’s in there and what you owe, call a few real estate agents and ask them to do an appraisal on your houses, apartments, land even if they are just an off the street appraisal. Look into comparable sales for a similar business to yours. Call your super fund providers and get balances.
3. Work out what its going to cost you to live each week.
You are on your own with the kids so work out how much this is going to cost you BEFORE you accept a child support or spousal support offer from your ex. Most women underestimate what they spend each week and sell themselves short by taking the first offer their ex makes as they think that its better than nothing. If you know the numbers you can say “I really need an extra $200 per week for the rent as I am short that amount each week”.
4. Don’t get stuck on the little things.
Do you really care that much about the lounge suite? Don’t sweat the insignificant things like furniture. If you can get what you need and buy the rest later then do it. You will burn up more than the cost of the couch in legal fees negotiating who will get it. Be smart and let those things go. Focus on what is important.
5. Remember that saying from My Big Fat Greek Wedding “The man is the head of the house but the women turns the neck”.
Even though you are no longer together this is still the case so use it! You have been with this guy for how long? No one knows him better than you. Use this knowledge to help you get what you want. You already know how to do this as you have been doing it for years. Think of something that he really wants like his super and give it to him if he lets you have what you want eg the kids or the house. It’s a negotiation. Remember that. You wont get everything you want so be prepared to let some things go to get what’s most important to you.
6. Don’t think that your divorce will end the same way as your best friends did.
Girls love to share stories but everyone’s is different so remember that. Just because she got the house doesn’t mean that you will. Her house may have been worth less, the mortgage may have been less or non existent, her husband may not have cared about the house whereas your does. Your story will be your story.
Hindsight’s 20/20, so there’s no one better than ex-wives to tell you what to do (and not to do) if you’re going through—or just contemplating—a divorce. Here, real women share what they wish they’d known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they’ve seen clients make. Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally.
7. Don’t fall for the “we are just on a break but let’s sign a BFA anyway while we try to reconcile” trap.
Once you formalise a property settlement by way of a BFA (Binding Financial Agreement) or Consent Order there is no going back. Its easier for him to negotiate a deal favourable for him if he is in your good books. If you think you are getting back together then why are you signing this thing???
8. Waiting too long to formalise an agreement.
Things might be going really well until he meets a new girl…then chances are that new girl may not be happy about him giving you that extra cash each week for the kids or that the mortgage still hasn’t been transferred to your sole name.
Get that agreement formalised pronto so that he can’t back out.
Call Fedorov Lawyers on 1300 768 719 foor more tips or to formalise your property and parenting agreements ASAP to avoid future heartache.